Building self confidence is easy but making it stick…not so much

There’s something I know about you that may shock you. 

It’s something that is so crazy and off-the-wall strange that you might refuse to believe it. 

And I wouldn’t blame you at all.

I hope you’re sitting down because here it is:

You have an extra brain. 

Remember, I told you it was crazy? When I first heard of it I thought it was too. Until, that is, I found scientific evidence from a doctor that backed it upMichael Gershon - You Second Brain Book cover

But what on earth has this to do with building my self-confidence?”

Good question. Glad you asked.

Let’s start with discussing what exactly we’re talking about when we talk about self-confidence.

According to Wikipedia “Self Confidence” is described as: 

Confidence comes from a Latin word ‘fidere’ which means “to trust”; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self. 

Trust is a huge factor in building self-confidence and I’ll have more to say about it in a minute. But first let’s be clear on what we’re talking about. 

In my view there are two kinds of self confidence:

  1. Work Mastery – This is confidence that comes from having a high degree of proficiency at a task. This could be anything from playing a musical instrument to being an expert at landscaping. Most people who have been at a job, profession, or doing any particular thing for a long time have this type of confidence.
  2. Social Serenity – This is when you feel comfortable when communicating, working, or just being around other people. You have a comfort level that draws people toward you because you seem sure of yourself and what you stand for. This is generally the most sought after type of confidence. 

Obviously the first type of confidence, Work Mastery, is the most common so for our purposes here we’ll be referencing the second type, Social Serenity, whenever the word “confidence” is mentioned.

If you go online you’ll find a number of remedies for low self esteem or lack of confidence. You’ll see free tips to get you started on building your self confidence. Almost all of them will tell you that it will take persistence to get the job done. In other words, their message is: It will be a long long road. In other words, you might see results after you’ve completed the course, read the books, attended the seminar, and contemplated your existence while sitting quietly in a lotus position on a matt by yourself for twenty minutes a day over six weeks or so.

But here’s the good news:Confident person with arms up in triumphant gesture with words describing various positive qualities 

  • feeling good about yourself
  • having a sustained self esteem
  • finding the strength that you can trust yourself
  • feeling confident in your abilities 

All the above becomes quickly possible, or not, depending on what brain you’re predominately working with. 

Remember you have not just one but two very different brains in your body. 

As a human being you do two things everyday all day: you think things and you feel things.

And now we know you have a separate brain for each of those two tasks. The one in your head is a thinking brain but it can’t feel anything. There are no pain receptors in the cortex at all.

The other one is in your gut. It’s much smaller but it’s not designed for thinking much. It’s a feeling brain. It feels everything from your greatest joys to your deepest sorrows… and everything in between.

It’s extremely sensitive to pressure. Which is how it does it’s job of managing the complicated work of the digestion process so incredibly well. Of course, that’s not all it does.

If you want to speed up the process to building self-trust and be blessed with an immutable confidence on an ongoing basis your second brain (AKA: your gut brain) is the place to go.

Now, in case your wondering, we’re not going to abandon the head brain. Certainly not. We need both brains working in concert to be able to think and feel at the same time. That way we can experience the good vibes of the gut brain and use that to suppress the noise that the head brain is in the habit of creating. That way we can check the decisions we’re thinking about while, at the same time, see how we feel about them before we put them into action. I call this…

Collaborative Intelligence 

But why do we need this? 

One big reason is to distance yourself from all the negative self talk that’s holding you back. Remember, it’s critical that you need to see that you can trust yourself. That you’re worthy of success. To arrive there means that you must first build a rock-solid self belief. If you can do this your self confidence will soar.

The big question, of course, is how?

The key is to know the truth. The truth that you have been successful your entire life. That kind of truth is powerful stuff. But it’s only found by examining the one thing that backed your success in any achievement you’ve ever had. It’s called your GRIT (better known as the gut drive of persistence).

I have two acronyms that I want you to remember from now on. 

  • GRIT — Gut Recall Increases Traction  
  • GRIT — Gut Recognizes Internal Truth 

Why are these important? Because of a critical finding made by researchers over forty years ago and reported in a book which sold over three million copies back in 1978. It was titled “In Search of Excellence”.  It appears that the old adage ‘Nothing succeeds like success’ turns out to have a sound scientific base…

Researchers studying motivation find that the prime factor is simply the self perception among motivated subjects that they are in fact doing well.

…mere association with past personal success apparently leads to more persistence, higher motivation, or something that makes us do better.

Ya, “something that makes us do better”. I love that. They didn’t have a clue as to what that “something” was but today, after all this time, the answer to that question is coming into focus. And you my friend are going to reap the greatest rewards because of it. That is because you now know about that extra brain in your gut. Knowing this can make a big difference in how you can develop a self confidence that never leaves you.

More power to you.

David 

PS: Want to know more about how you can use your dual-brain system to acquire a through-the-roof confidence and a rock solid self-belief that never leaves you? 

Then go here and learn more about the HERO Tour now.

How your inner-critic makes you a rope-a-dope

Woman looks in mirror

We drink the poison our inner-critic pours for us.

The following anecdote about this boxing match, from which I refer to in this post, was from a brilliantly-written/voice-recorded post by one of my favourite pod-casters Terry O’Reilly.

Our inner-critic can be very manipulative. It can make us fall for what it says to us especially if it is allowed to do endlessly. The story I’m referring to in this post is, in an oblique way, illustrative of what happens inside our heads when certain suggestions get the best of us.

On October 30, 1974 the famous boxing match known as the “Rumble in the Jungle” in what was then Zaire Africa took place. It had been called “arguably the greatest sporting event of the 20th century“. The two fighters were the undefeated heavyweight champion of the world
George Foreman against challenger Muhammad Ali, a former heavyweight champion.

At the time Ali was the long-shot. A seasoned boxer for sure but already at 32 years old this title fight was not going to be easy on him. Foreman, a younger and way more muscular fighter, was just 25. He was already boxing legend. This was going to be a professional boxing bonanza for the winner. Both boxers knew it was a make-or-break bout.

In Ali’s dressing room prior to the fight all were unusually quiet. They knew about the punishing force from an opponent like Foreman. His powerful haymakers could be more than damaging to a guy like Ali who had hopes of becoming a world champion once more.

They actually feared for Ali’s life.[convertkit]

But as the fight wore on something changed. By the second round of the bout Ali had come up with a secret plan for Foreman. He realized early on that he could not go toe-to-toe with Foreman’s powerful blows. If he was to get him knocked out he would have to get really creative. And quickly.

So he changes his tactics and goes with something that would later be famously known as the “rope-a-dope”.

Staying close to the ropes and protecting himself by blocking Foreman’s punches all Ali had to do was survive long enough to tire Foreman out. He did this round after round letting Foreman do all the punching onto Ali’s body. It was almost like he was sparring with him. But he kept it up and the tactic worked like magic.

Ali Applies The Secret Sauce

Meanwhile people close to ringside noticed something. Ali was whispering into foreman’s ear. No one knew it until later what he was saying. It turns out that he was taunting Foreman over and over and over by asking him why was he always using his right. And then adding that he must not have much of a left.

After doing this for several rounds the now enraged Foreman finally bit at the challenge and changed hands from his right to his left. This bought Ali some time to get the feeling
back in his left arm as it was numbed-out from Foreman’s powerful right blows. Then, in the 8th round Ali saw a way opening up.

As the exhausted Foreman tried to pin Ali against the ropes Ali came back with a combination that forced Foreman’s head up in position for a right punch to the face.

Foreman stumbled and then fell to the canvas. The referee counted and then stopped the fight as Foreman was rising. But it was done.

Ali had accomplished what almost no one expected to see. He had beaten the fearsome George Foreman in an 8th round knockout. But he did it, not only with his fists, but with a subtle whispered suggestion.

How Your Inner-Critic Does It

[convertkit form=1551680]

You may not have noticed, but this is the kind of quiet coaxing that something in your head brain, your inner-critic, is constantly whispering into your own inner-ear.

You might of heard of, and eventually believed in, things like this:

  • “What are you doing? You always keep messing things up.”
  • “You can’t handle this stuff. Who do you think you are?”
  • “You’re not good enough for this. Get outta here!”
  • “Are you crazy? What’s wrong with you? Quit now while you still can.”
  • “You’re way too old (too young) to be any good at this.”

And on and on it goes. It want’s to make us all into rope-a-dopes.

I’ve heard it said that the best way to clear muddy water is to just leave it alone. But where else can you go that’s outside your own head?

Science has the right answer. Sort of.

They tell us that we have, not just one, but a second brain and it’s in our gut. That’s about as far from the noisy head as it gets without actually leaving the body.

I love science but so far no scientist I’m aware of has stated this yet. I’ve been pointing it out for years: the head brain is a thinking brain but the gut brain is a feeling brain. We need both because humans do two basic things all day every day.

We think things and we feel things.

One dedicated brain for each of these two essential tasks. What a great thing.

It’s fantastically elegant in both design and function. But they must be properly optimized in harmony so we can operate in the world with more happiness and fulfillment and less stress. I mean that, in most cases, a person won’t even know that this extra brain exists so how can you make better use of something if you’re not aware it exists?

But that doesn’t belie the fact that we still need to fix our noisy head brain if we’re to escape becoming a rope-a-dope to our inner-critic. The big news is that it can be done by applying the calming power of our second brain to our noisy head.

And it’s quite doable in as little as one day if you have the right tool for the job.

I’ve spent decades building it, testing it, and then understanding what it means for your future.

Extend your hand and learn more about it here.

More power to you.

Mobiusman