Building self confidence is easy but making it stick…not so much

There’s something I know about you that may shock you. 

It’s something that is so crazy and off-the-wall strange that you might refuse to believe it. 

And I wouldn’t blame you at all.

I hope you’re sitting down because here it is:

You have an extra brain. 

Remember, I told you it was crazy? When I first heard of it I thought it was too. Until, that is, I found scientific evidence from a doctor that backed it upMichael Gershon - You Second Brain Book cover

But what on earth has this to do with building my self-confidence?

Good question. Glad you asked.

Let’s start with discussing what exactly we’re talking about when we talk about self-confidence.

According to Wikipedia “Self Confidence” is described as: 

Confidence comes from a Latin word ‘fidere’ which means “to trust”; therefore, having self-confidence is having trust in one’s self. 

Trust is a huge factor in building self-confidence and I’ll have more to say about it in a minute. But first let’s be clear on what we’re talking about. 

In my view there are two kinds of self confidence:

  1. Work Mastery – This is confidence that comes from having a high degree of proficiency at a task. This could be anything from playing a musical instrument to being an expert at landscaping. Most people who have been at a job, profession, or doing any particular thing for a long time have this type of confidence.
  2. Social Serenity – This is when you feel comfortable when communicating, working, or just being around other people. You have a comfort level that draws people toward you because you seem sure of yourself and what you stand for. This is generally the most sought after type of confidence. 

Obviously the first type of confidence, Work Mastery, is the most common so for our purposes here we’ll be referencing the second type, Social Serenity, whenever the word “confidence” is mentioned.

If you go online you’ll find a number of remedies for low self esteem or lack of confidence. You’ll see free tips to get you started on building your self confidence. Almost all of them will tell you that it will take persistence to get the job done. In other words, their message is: It will be a long long road. In other words, you might see results after you’ve completed the course, read the books, attended the seminar, and contemplated your existence while sitting quietly in a lotus position on a matt by yourself for twenty minutes a day over six weeks or so.

But here’s the good news:Confident person with arms up in triumphant gesture with words describing various positive qualities 

  • feeling good about yourself
  • having a sustained self esteem
  • finding the strength that you can trust yourself
  • feeling confident in your abilities 

All the above becomes quickly possible, or not, depending on what brain you’re predominately working with. 

Remember you have not just one but two very different brains in your body. 

As a human being you do two things everyday all day: you think things and you feel things.

And now we know you have a separate brain for each of those two tasks. The one in your head is a thinking brain but it can’t feel anything. There are no pain receptors in the cortex at all.

The other one is in your gut. It’s much smaller but it’s not designed for thinking much. It’s a feeling brain. It feels everything from your greatest joys to your deepest sorrows… and everything in between.

It’s extremely sensitive to pressure. Which is how it does it’s job of managing the complicated work of the digestion process so incredibly well. Of course, that’s not all it does.

If you want to speed up the process to building self-trust and be blessed with an immutable confidence on an ongoing basis your second brain (AKA: your gut brain) is the place to go.

Now, in case your wondering, we’re not going to abandon the head brain. Certainly not. We need both brains working in concert to be able to think and feel at the same time. That way we can experience the good vibes of the gut brain and use that to suppress the noise that the head brain is in the habit of creating. That way we can check the decisions we’re thinking about while, at the same time, see how we feel about them before we put them into action. I call this…

Collaborative Intelligence 

But why do we need this? 

One big reason is to distance yourself from all the negative self talk that’s holding you back. Remember, it’s critical that you need to see that you can trust yourself. That you’re worthy of success. To arrive there means that you must first build a rock-solid self belief. If you can do this your self confidence will soar.

The big question, of course, is how?

The key is to know the truth. The truth that you have been successful your entire life. That kind of truth is powerful stuff. But it’s only found by examining the one thing that backed your success in any achievement you’ve ever had. It’s called your GRIT (better known as the gut drive of persistence).

I have two acronyms that I want you to remember from now on. 

  • GRIT — Gut Recall Increases Traction  
  • GRIT — Gut Recognizes Internal Truth 

Why are these important? Because of a critical finding made by researchers over forty years ago and reported in a book which sold over three million copies back in 1978. It was titled “In Search of Excellence”.  It appears that the old adage ‘Nothing succeeds like success’ turns out to have a sound scientific base…

Researchers studying motivation find that the prime factor is simply the self perception among motivated subjects that they are in fact doing well.

…mere association with past personal success apparently leads to more persistence, higher motivation, or something that makes us do better.

Ya, “something that makes us do better”. I love that. They didn’t have a clue as to what that “something” was but today, after all this time, the answer to that question is coming into focus. And you my friend are going to reap the greatest rewards because of it. That is because you now know about that extra brain in your gut. Knowing this can make a big difference in how you can develop a self confidence that never leaves you.

More power to you.

David 

PS: Want to know more about how you can use your dual-brain system to acquire a through-the-roof confidence and a rock solid self-belief that never leaves you? 

Then go here and learn more about the HERO Tour now.

What Do You Want?

Chalkboard: What do you want?
What do you want? Do you even know?

“The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” – Ben Stein

To truly know what you want is not an easy question to answer correctly. Henry Ford once said that, in the beginning, if he had ever asked his prospects what they wanted they would have said “a faster horse”.

To know what you truly want is often tricky but it’s worth the effort to seek out an answer because it can reveal what you’re truly passionate about. That can set the path for how your entire life unfolds.

In my own experience my dad comes to mind. While just a teenager he saw a family member greatly relieved from excruciating pain by an osteopathic physician and he immediately knew what he wanted to do with his life from then on. After a successful 35-plus year career helping thousands of his patients get relief from pain he retired as doctor of osteopathy. Only one of two in our entire city.

He was one of the lucky ones.

Many wander through time “sheep-walking” as business blogger Seth Godin calls it, and never making the decision to end the cycle of getting a job, staying at it for a while, growing tired of it, then landing another, and then repeating.  All the while never quite hitting that high note. Only to one day get past the point of no return. Always missing that point of critical realization and now too late to make a difference. Too late to ever know the answer to “What do I want?”.

I think that, like my dad, in a way I was one of the lucky ones too. I knew I wanted to become an entrepreneur. But I wanted to find something new and then offer it to the world. I did actually find something but, of course, I just never knew that it would take me to the age of retirement before I could finally see it being accomplished in any real degree of scale.

But now that it’s coming to fruition it’s my passion and my hope that it helps deliver many people to a place where a new self belief can thrive so that the great question is finally answered for them before too much time has passed.

That’s why I’m soon launching my next new project. I’m  calling it “Human Potential 2.0”. It’s being positioned to re-tool what has become known as traditional self-help or personal growth. The original model, which began 100 years ago, was to help us realize our own human potential. But over the years it has lost it’s power to effect useful and lasting change that matters.

I intend to fix that by reassigning our focus to more authentic intrinsic elements. To foster a fundamental change that I’m convinced must come about in order to make better choices in how we view ourselves.

For example the fantastic but widely under-reported bio-medical discovery, now almost 20 years ago,  that confirmed the fact that humans are dual-brained – one in the head which can think but not feel and a lesser known one in the gut that doesn’t think but feels everything.

With this project we’ll begin with another great quote, this time from Theodore Roosevelt: “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

Most of this instruction is not too difficult to grasp. The “Do what you can… where you are” parts are no great mystery. Most of us know how to work hard and most should know who they are. The tough part begs another great question…

What is it that you really have?

Answering that is in essence what Human Potential 2.0 is all about. Because if we can answer that question in a way that resonates with our own thinking/feeling dual-brained personage then that will lead us to refine what it means to know what our passion is. And knowing your true passion leads to a tremendous sense of hope for the future.

Watch this space for my upcoming posts on this subject and the accompanying video series that follows.

More power to you.